I love smell of new. When my mom bought me a car, the thing I liked the most was the smell. I think new car smell is so good. But, I read an article that new car smell is actually harmful to human. Well, that’s too bad, but I will still continue to love new car smell though. It would be horrible if new car smell vanished.

Since I cannot afford to buy new car, I bought new macbook instead. Yeah, it came with new laptop smell, and I am smelling all over my macbook! It was far less expensive than buying new car, but it was still expensive. I thought about buying $1299 one (well, $1199 w/ student discount) because black macbook is $200 more and only it has 40gb more hard drive space. You know, so basically, black one ($1499), you are paying $200 more for the color. Well, since I am a smart consumer, I was pretty much sure I was going to buy $1299 one. Well, well, but, I changed my mind after I actually saw the black one. Black one looks far far faaaar better than white one. You know, since I am so minority, buying black one was like showing my pride being oppressed social status. Or, I am just blinded by Apple marketing skill... They sure know how to make people pay more... So, I ended up buying black one! Also, I bought Airport Extreme and .mac membership. Aaah!! Damn Apple! But, thing is I do love my black macbook, I do love my Airport Extreme, and .mac! Eh, annoying. So, I am one satisfied Apple customer who is not satisfied being satisfied about my purchases.

I had been a little bit of under the weather in the past couple weeks. I think it’s allergy or something. I had occasional asthma attacks and all allergy symptoms you can think of. I was actually surprised to see myself getting asthma attacks because I hadn’t had ones for long long time. I thought maybe if I waited for a bit, it would go away, so I kinda ignored the fact that maybe I should see M.D. people. Then, last week, I couldn’t sleep at all because of stupid asthma. I thought about going to E.R., but I thought about all hassle I had to take in order to go to E.R., and all waiting time I would have there. So, I didn’t go. But, since I wasn’t so stupid, I did went to the health center on campus. Although I made an appointment, I waited over 30 minutes, and I was kinda cranky. Then, when I saw my doctor, I got freaked out. He was super fat. I mean really. I could hear his shallow breathing, and I thought, “well, are you having asthma attack too??” Of course, he was not. He was just running out of breath because he probably had to walk 10 feet in order to get to the room I was in from the room he was in. He asked me if I smoked, and well, I don’t, so I told him I never smoked. Then, he said, “oh good. You shouldn’t start smoking.” Ah, hello? What made you think I would start smoking after 30 years of absent of smoking in my life?? I was like, “well, maybe you should stop eating, so you would be able to walk for long distance without running out of your breath.” I thought about it, but I did not vocalize it because I am a nice person. I do not have a problem with fat people, but I do have a problem with fat medical doctors. It’s like having fat personal trainer. It just does not make sense at all. I have to see him again in this week, so well, yay...

Statistics has never been my friend. I love math, especially calculus, but I believe that statistics is not math. I can do simple stuff like ANOVA or something like that. But, as a PhD student, I need to take three or more statistics courses. Well, I finished two basic PhD level statistics classes in the past semesters. So, this semester, I decided to take another (and last) one, applied multivariate statistical analysis class. Well, huge huuuuuge mistake! The professor for the course was really really slow giving us back assignments. We turned in three assignments, and we only got back one. And, tonight was the last class… So, I have no idea how I did on those assignments. Also, we had to come up our own data sets to do homework. It was super painful I had to find data set to do homework. I used several data I have collected, but they had lots of problems such as noise in data etc. And, none of my data were normal distributed (this is big no-no for using some of multivariate analysis). And, as a final project, we had to analyze data using three different statistical techniques, write up like you do for publishing paper, and present result like you do at the professional conference. Of course, I was freaking out because I had no good data, I hate writing, and I hate giving presentation! I worked actually really hard processing data I have, so I could analyze. However, the result wasn’t so favorable… Also, since today was the last day of the class, I had to give a presentation of my result. I worked pretty hard to make powerpoint, but I had no time to practice. So, of course, my presentation was horrible, and I don’t think no one understood my point. Well, most of students were from fucking business school, so I wasn’t expected them to understand anyway! But, thing pissed me off the most was that business school people used same data sets and did kinda same analysis! And, most of biz school people even didn’t use powerpoint to give their presentations! They just opened up their Word file, and scrolled down the results! It really really pissed me off. I mean you wouldn’t present your result just showing your paper at the conference!!

I am so looking forward this semester to be over…

I bought my MacBook about 2.5 weeks ago. Yeah, Apple just updated MacBook series today. Well, I was a little bit annoyed, but wasn’t really pissed. CPU is still Core 2 Duo, so that’s good (phew, if they upgraded to new Santa Rosa ones, I would be super pissed!). Clock speed only increased like 0.16GHz, so, it’s not really a big deal. I guess 40gb more HD space kinda nice, but well, not really significant or anything. But, I think if I bought cheapest one ($1100 MacBook), I might be really annoyed because now it has 1GB of memory (before = 512MB). Anyway, I am still happy happy joy joy with my MacBook! Well, funny thing is that Marc was really pissed when I told about this. He is firm believer that Apple is screwing consumers.

I noticed there is a crack in my Nintendo DS (lite) when I was cleaning it! I was freaked out because this is like my precious! The crack was in the left side of screen hinge! Oh no!! Well, I can still play Pokemon, but since my DS lite is so previous, I called Nintendo if they could fix it. The guy I talked to, he was very pleasant and told me that crack is really a cosmetic stuff, so I probably wouldn’t have to fix it. He also told me it might take between 13 – 23 days (including shipping time) to get fixed. But, he said he would be happy to set up repair for me. So, I told him yes I would like to fix my precious. When I told him my name and address, he pulled up my info (I think) from database and said, “Oh, it looks like we have long healthy history.” Oh yeah, that’s right, Nintendo! I own every single piece of hardware you have created!! Well, I do not have GBA-micro, but well, that’s okay because I have GBA and GBASP!! Anyway, I am so sending my DS lite for repair!

I was planning to move out my apartment when my lease is up (which is end of this July). But, I decided to stay my apt even though I had multiple water coming from the ceiling accident, or my upstairs guy kept playing shitty songs super loud incidents. I just do not have money to move to new place!! I thought about moving to suburb area, but realized that driving to school would cost fortune! At least, where I live right now, I can just take a bus to get to the campus. I think my apt isn’t bad at all, just I don’t like it! I actually took a time to think about why I don’t like my apt. First thing came to my mind was that I do not like my neighbors. The area I live in is called “uptown.” It’s supposed to be kinda fancy area in Minneapolis, but I do not like it at all. It’s nothing like Lincoln Park in Chicago. When I lived in Chicago, I loved my neighbor. It was just north edge of Lincoln Park, but I was able to enjoy both Lincoln Park and Lakeview stuff. Occasionally, I even walked back to my apt from Wrigleyville. I really missed living my tiny studio apt there… Well, anyway, since I decided to stay in my apt, I started thinking what I need to do in order to live in this fucked up apt without thinking “oh this apt is fucked up.” The answer is “décor.” I must say my apt is really a crap. I hate decorating the room because I don’t know how. Exception is kitchen area. Because I love cooking so much, I just cannot stand if the kitchen is dirty or if I see dirty dishes in the sink. I always maintain kitchen area clean and nice. I love having lots of vintage plates, and indeed, I have some!! (thanks to my ex-bf). I super care about anything relating to cooking. But, other than that, I really really don't give a shit about it! IKEA is good enough for me. But, but, I do know I so need to decorate my room. Believe or not, I used to subscribe Wallpaper magazine… And, I love reading Architectural Digest… And my one of favorite stores is Design Within Reach… I even shopped their website several times… So, why I don't’ decorate my room? Hmmm, I don’t know. I guess I just don't care much. I hate my room, I cannot relax much, and I am so sick of it, but I still don’t do anything about it! Not good! I like all home remodeling shows such as Trading Space, While You Are Out, Clean House, or Design on Dime, etc etc… But, it never really registered my mind I need to decorate my apt. Well, I kinda sorta tiny bit knew somewhere in my head I need to do something, I was so in denial.

I know, however, now. I know I need to work on my apt like I work on Zelda every day. I need to bring something on the walls. I need to get a coffee table that is not ugly. I need to clean up my bed room because bed room is not “whatever” room. I am on the mission. I will do it. I will make my apt super nice, and everyone wants to come over and do stuff. I will pick up Wallpaper magazine tomorrow, and I will go to DWR store because that store is really 3 blocks away from where I live!! I will do it!!

I only have one more week. Yes, I will be dead by the end of next week!! Oh no! Well, no. Sorry, I won’t die until I become 150 years old. So, what’s about one more week? Well, I am completing my practicum by the end of next week. Yes, I am finally getting master’s in counseling. It took forever to get this fucking degree. It took me $6000 more to get this degree. And I probably wouldn’t use it for anything. But, I am getting master’s degree. I guess that’s exciting, but since I am already in PhD program, I am not so excited about it. Especially, my study is going nowhere…

Anyway, I have been working at the non-profit organization that specializes working with ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder). Yeah, I am working with kids who have ever popular Autism. I must say it’s pretty challenging. I don’t know how their parents do it. It’s really challenging to work with autistic kids, but at least, I get to go home! I mainly work with pre-schooler (4 – 6 years old), and I am sooooooo attached to my kids. I knew I like kids prior to start working there, but I didn't’ know I like kids this much. Since they are autistic, they cannot communicate well. Some kids even don’t say anything or don’t look at me. But, it felt really awesome when kids came up to me and said “Hi Ken!” for the first time. It took more than a month for most of kids to recognize me and remember my name! I really think the perception of Autism in general public has been very biased. People think kids with Autism have like super smart or something. But, it is not uncommon autistic children get second diagnose with mild mental retardation. Because Autism is spectrum disorder, cognitive function is really varied. As far as I know, children with Autism usually have less than average cognitive function. But, children who are diagnosed with Asperger have average or more than average cognitive function. Basically, under ASD, there are several clinical diagnoses. Autism and Asperger are under ASD.

Anyway, again, it has been kinda bitter sweet weeks for me. I am excited about I am completing my requirement hours for my degree, but at the same time, I really love working there. I was hoping to work throughout this summer (as a volunteer). But, since I will be in Japan for three weeks, I decided to not come back. I cannot really leave my kids for three weeks alone, so I figured it is better for them to get new therapists. So, my last day is next Friday, and I am pretty sure I will cry (a little bit). I wish I could take pictures with them, but for legal reasons (HIPPA!!!), that not possible. I already started missing my kids!!

So, this weekend is my first step to decorate my apt. Yep. Step 1: Admit you have tons of crap. It was tough. I was in the denial. I kept buying things to cover up the fact I have so many things. But, in fact, I have so many things. I have so many video games. I have so many unused computer parts. I have so many clothes. I think at least I can admit I have lots of stuff, that’s a good start! No more denial. I decided to dig into my forbidden bed room closet in this afternoon. What did I find, well, stuff, my old PC, monitor, clothes (which I haven’t worn for more than a year), shoes, and some boxes. Right away, I took my old PC and monitor to the recycle center in this afternoon. It was super quick because once I started thinking about it, I would be unable to throw them away! I built my PC! It was like my baby! My monitor was made by Sony, and Sony even doesn’t make computer monitor anymore!! I smell premier auctions!! Maybe if I held on to it for several years, maybe my Sony monitor became double the its original price!! Well, this kinda stuff I would be thinking if I didn’t take my old junk out of my apt right away. Since I was heading to the recycling center, I took all old magazines and old phone books. I am so awesome!

After I dropped off my junk at the recycling center, I started putting my old clothes into the trash bag. Geeez, this was painful. I tried to not think about how much I paid and just thinking about how long I hadn’t worn these clothes. So, I ended up filling whole trash bag. Phew. I will take this to Goodwill or Salvation Army tomorrow... But, I do still have lots of clothes. Why?

Although I was able to organize my closet, my room is still messy and not so beautiful. It’s like you work out so hard and lost 5% of body fat, but you didn’t lose any weight. Life is hard.

It just happened. I was kinda lazy to go into the lab yesterday, so I was working at my apt. I had a meeting with my supervisor at my practicum site in the morning, and it was the last one!! I am finishing my practicum!! Yaaay! Anyway, after the meeting, I came back my apt, went jogging for about 1.5 hours. Then, I started working on my data. At about 2pm, I was done most of stuff I was intended to do, so I thought about going to Target to get some stuff. Before I went to Target, I wanted to take a trash out, so I took it out. Then, I realized that I forgot to take my house keys with me. I was so locked out. I was upset, but not that bad. I thought, “alright, I am sure someone in this building!” So, I buzzed at least 10 of the rooms in the building. But, no one answered... C’mon! I thought about going to the leasing office because for some reasons, I did have my car key. But, I was like, “no! I need to get inside!” So, I broke into my own apt. I live in the first floor, but my floor is kinda above the ground kinda floor, so it’s not like you can just jump to my window kinda height. But, I, somehow, managed to get into one of the windows in the living room, broke the screen, raise the window, then, got into the room!! I was good!! But, this made me think maybe my room isn’t that safe. But, I was still excited about me able to break into my apt. It was pretty cool, I felt like I am in GTA!

I had a meeting with my advisor plus alpha in this afternoon. I presented the data I analyzed, and my advisor told me I just wasted my time. Well, ouch.

It’s a season of finale. All TV dramas are having season (or series) finales in this month. I am actually not following any of season finale thingy. But, I know I am sad that “Close to Home” has been cancelled as well as “the Class.” I started liking those two shows, and now they are gone. Sad.

Speaking of sadness, I am certainly sad about finishing my practicum. I finally got my master’s degree, so that’s cool. But, I am leaving these kids behind to keep going on my PhD degree. Well, I have no idea how much those kids know what’s going on, but certainly I will miss them!

I so do not like lifting weights. I don’t know about you, but I don’t. I think I don’t like going to gym, and that’s problem. I hadn’t been to the gym for long long time, but since I am going back to Japan for three weeks, I need to get ready. I don’t wanna be fat guy in Japan. I don’t think I am fat guy in the U.S., but I would be chunky one in Japan, thanks to super skinny stupid sushi –eating Japanese guys. So, I forced myself to go to the gym yesterday morning. It was hard. I know many people actually enjoy lifting. I mean, are you fucking serious? How can it be fun to lift chunk of steel up-down-up-down or left-right-left-right?? So painful!

I had a final day at my practicum site yesterday. Since I was a group leader for the last time, I made kids to make a good-bye card for me. I had a feeling they had no idea what they were making though. I was a little bit emotional when I was watching kids making cards because I knew this would be last time I actually worked with these kids and would never see them again. But, well, rest of the day was pretty crazy as usual. I didn’t have a time to get emotional at all! It was painful, but same time, I was so ready to move on.

Couple days ago, I got haircut, and I got mohawk. Oh fun! I did have mohawk for a while before I started my practicum, so I just got back my old haircut. I went to Aveda to get haircut, and it took 1.5 hours to get haircut... It was certainly painful to just sit there and thinking, “well, you just need to shave both side of head and that’s it!” I think Aveda has a good deal since students cut your hair, but it really takes long long time. But, it was only $14, so cannot beat that! By the way, kids loooved my mohawk. It was so funny they kept touching my hair. So, I asked one of my kids, “hey, do you wanna get mohawk too?” And, he said, “no.” it’s sensory stimulating haircut, but not for everyone I guess...